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Anonymous: I have leukemia and i just wanna die my first chemo was horrible, I think i'm just a big pain to my parents :(

You’re not a pain to anyone, I went through this and I thought i was annoying I thought I was stressing my family and taking up all their time. Sme days when I was having treatment and I wasnot allowed out of hospital I felt so down, it would be a sunny gorgeous day outside and I was stuck in the hospital with my dad and sister and I felt like I was a waste of their time, I wanted to die somedays so they didn’t have to deal with it anymore and so they could be happy. But I started to realise, the effect my sadness and depression was having on them, and I turned it around. Obviously on the days when you are very very sick and weak it’s hard to do anything other than lay in bed and throw up, but maybe on days you are feeling a little stronger you can ask the nurses to organise a thankyou party? This is what I did, it’s just an idea, the nurses bought balloons and party poppers, they even bought a cake, and it was a thankyou to my family for being their for me, and ever since that day it all changed, my spirits were lifted, I got to wear a dress, I wore this cool hat thing, I wore glitter make up and I gave my little sister who was very young at the time a kiddy make over. I saw my family smiling and happy, and it was because I was happy I had changed my attitude. From then on I promised them and myself that I would be positive, and that positivity brought me through and made me strong, it was making their time wi me a lot more enjoyable, soon enough they were allowed to take me out in the wheelchair we could sit out in the sun and laugh and be happy, we had a picnic one day and just things like that. I know it’s hard now but you will get stronger and better, your family just want you better. I’m sorry if there’s loads of spelling mistakes I’m on my iPad xxxx

tagged as: #advice


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